Failure

Some friends of ours had their first child today. He is a beautiful little guy and the parents are fascinated by him. We waited for months and hours through the labor process and out comes this little healthy chap. It is amazing to think about the potential that can be found within a small child. This is why parenting is so vital for the success of society. As a teacher, I can literally point to the students in my classroom who have had conscientious parents, no parents, or too restrictive parents. The problem is knowing how much responsibility to give a child while remaining a relevant guiding force in that child's life. Most important is allowing our children to fail in a safe environment.

I often learn more about people when they fail than when they are successful. The student who threatens to call his/her parents when they receive an undesirable grade (even though they won't take responsibility for it AND I am not intimidated by any parent). Or blaming your hurtful racial comments on society rather than taking credit for them yourself. We have a choice when we fail: "Cringe in embarrassment, or wear failure as a noble scar" (Forbes 2007).

I think of Dante Alighieri who started out being betrayed, exiled, defaced, and financially ruined when his house was burned. Yet, years later he finished his hellish work "Inferno". Despite all of his failures, he is remembered for his literary contribution and for creatively putting his rivals into his book and, in his book, into hell. What about Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni? He was badgered by a cardinal in the catholic church for years and when his last work in the Sistine Chapel was revealed, that cardinal was in his painting shown being pulled into hell by demons.

F. Scott Fitzgerald is an American icon for 20th century literature. Yet, I dare say that he didn't think of success when he died at the age of 44, penniless, an alcoholic, and with all of his books out of print (at the time).

It is a matter of perspective. Dante begins his book with "Midway on our life's journey, I found myself in dark woods, the right road lost...." There is a long scary journey through the nine circles of hell but eventually Dante comes out alright at the end of his book. I hope that life for our little ones can be the same.

Taking the Challenge: Irony

In my previous post, I ripped on Alanis Morrisette's 1990's radio hit "Isn't It Ironic". dr spartacus requested that I rewrite the lyrics of her song (most of which I argued were not ironic) so that they actually were ironic. Here is dr spartacus's request:

"Request:
I would like the Greek Speedoman to re-write the words of this classic '90's hit so that the situations of each line remains basically the same (knives vs. spoons, etc.), but are actually ironic."

SO, I thought I would take the challenge. As stated in my previous blog, I believe one of her statements is actually ironic (a man afraid of flying who dies his first time on a plane).

The original lyric will be featured in Blue and my comments/additions will be in green. I have made no attempt at keeping the rhythm and pace of the song the same. I am simply concerned with attempting to make these statements ACTUALLY ironic.

1. An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day when he realized how much money he had won.

2. It's a black fly in your Chardonnay that you're drinking to celebrate killing off a plague of flies.

3.It's a death row pardon two minutes too late for someone who is guilty.

4. It's like rain on your wedding day and you're the wicked witch in the wizard of Oz.

5. It's a free ride when you've already paid but the free ride is from a serial killer.

6. Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."
(I agree with this one. However, what would make it more ironic is if the man didn't know that he was in fact...Superman.)

7. A traffic jam when you're already late for a meeting about the efficiency of a city's road systems.

8. A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break and you're the Marlboro man.

9. It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife to open the packaging of your new knife.

10. It's meeting the man of my dreams -who is not attracted to you-
And then meeting his beautiful wife -who is attracted to you-

So there is my attempt at creating ACTUAL irony. This was a fun assignment. Let me know how I did.

Here are a few more lines that are not/somewhat ironic but are funny.

3.It's a death row pardon two minutes too late because of daylight savings time.
3.It's a death row pardon two minutes too late because the messenger was murdered.
4. It's like rain on your wedding day and you're a weather man.
1. An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day when he was defending himself from his greedy children.
1. An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day leaving his fortune to Anna Nichole Smith.
5. It's a free ride when you've already paid for a ride on the Titanic.
5. It's a free ride when you've already paid for a ride in Paris Hilton's car.
It's the good advice you just didn't take because you're Dr. Phil.

Isn't it Ironic - Polling the People

Recently, I overheard a 1990's classic song from the "man-hater" Alanis Morrisette. It is entitled "Isn't it Ironic". I overheard the lyrics and was curious what the average person would think about them. Basically, my main objective was to determine whether or not Alanis had written a song on the topic of Irony.

My Testing Method:

Since I am a teacher, testing comes naturally to me and so I determined to do this in the most objective way. I asked 10 different people about each line (without telling them that it is from a 1990s radio hit-although some knew it was), which I chose, from "Isn't It Ironic". Then I collected their statements for my reader's personal enlightenment. Many of the responses are the same so I will only list the unique responses to a line of lyric. The lyric is in a blue font and my test subject's responses are in an orange font.

1. An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day

• "I'll be his grandchild"
• "Later Pops and thanks for the cash"
• "That Sucks"
  

2. It's a black fly in your Chardonnay

• "A fly might help chardonnay...I hate chardonnay"
• "Gross"
• Most people simply laughed at this one as if mocking the unfortunate soul.
  

3.It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
And isn't it ironic...don't cha think

• "That Sucks"
• "How Sad...think of his mother..."

4. It's like rain on your wedding day

• "Oh, how awful"
• "I had rain on my wedding day"
• "aaaahaaaa"
• "That would suck"
  

5. It's a free ride when you've already paid

• "oh crap"
• "That sucks"
• "I'd just ask for my money back...what's wrong with that?"
  

6. Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic...dontcha think

• "At least he kissed his kids goodbye."
• "I'd like to die really fast like that."
• "Was this guy at terrorist?"
• "That Sucks."
  

7. A traffic jam when you're already late

• "I hate that."
• "What is with that? There is always some little old woman in a piece of crap car in front of me!"
• "Murphy's law gets me all of the time"
• "That just pisses me right off."
• "It makes me want to kill someone" (I backed slowly away from this person after their response)
  
• "That really sucks."
  

8. A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break

• "Aren't smokers like cursed or something?"
• "I don't know. I don't get cigarette breaks because I don't smoke."
• "Burn the sign too!"
• "Smokers are so gross I'm glad you can't smoke much anymore."
• "Just shoot yourself. It's faster and we don't have to listen to you."

9. It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife

• "Sharpen the spoon."
• "Who has 10,000 spoons? are they Heroine addicts?"
• "Use the handle. That way you have both 10,000 spoons and 10,000 knives"
  

10. It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...dontcha think
A little too ironic...and yeah I really do think...

• "That sucks. Why are they always married?"
• "I really wouldn't know. My wife probably wouldn't approve."
• "That happened to me. He was really cute too. That really sucks."
• "That sucks"

So, there you have it. I was surprised to find how many people thought that those things just suck. Not a single person told me that they thought they were ironic. Perhaps my test subjects have no literary background or, like me, think that this song is simply stupid. I tend to agree with the general outcome of my study. None of Alanis Morrisette's "ironic" statements seem to be ironic (except for the guy who dies in the plan crash). I must agree that most of those things simply...SUCK.

I an now confidently state that I think that the lyrics of "Isn't It Ironic" suck. I also don't care much for the music behind the lyrics and think it sucks too! So, in my critical objective opinion, "Isn't It Ironic" simply SUCKS.

Of course, what IS ironic about this song is that it is supposed to be about irony but fails to describe it.

Satan Airways

One of my students was telling me about a bad vacation his family recently took and it got me thinking about one of ours which I will now share with you.

We flew to Greece so I could study more of the Greek language. We lived there for a number of months and I learned some but realized that I was already decent at the language. On our flight to Athens we encountered the most demonic and evil flight attendant crew I have ever met. Since meeting these Greek women, I have taken to shouting at my students in Greek -which they don't understand- just to see the terror in their eyes (I do this jokingly of course...). I usually say something like "Your refrigerator is very cold" but in a really angry tone of voice...the same tone of voice that our flight attendants used on us.

I wish that I had known that the flight attendants we flew with were rigorously trained to hate everyone and treat everyone -even each other- like the most vile lump of flesh on the planet. They physically accosted me and pushed me back to my seat when I tried to get up to use the toilet (and the seatbelt light was off). They gave us soul damning looks when we got up to get our books out of our carry on luggage. I jokingly suggested to my wife that they change their pre-flight protocol to let passengers know that, instead of flying somewhere, they had just entered the seventh layer of hell.

Here is what I suggest for their new safety speech before their flights:

Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for flying Satan airways flight 666 from New York to Athens. We hope you enjoy us hating you for the next 18 hours. This is a non-stop flight which means you will be tormented the entire way. Before we take off, we must subject our employees to violent verbal and physical abuse so they can serve us better. We also need to tell you about the safety features of this aircraft.

1. There are six emergency exits: two in the front, two in the middle, and two at the rear of the airplane. These do not include the big exit that will be made upon impact.
2. This is a no smoking flight. Anyone caught smoking on this flight will be escorted out of the aircraft for our in-flight movie: Gone With The Wind.
3. If you take off your seat belt at any time during this flight, a little alarm will go off in our employee's heads and they will attack you as if you were a disease infested weasel. Please cooperate and do not duck. As our employees will be trying to pummel your head into a non-descriptive pink mass.
   
4. If the cabin loses pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling panel above your head. To use the oxygen mask, stop screaming and put it over your mouth and nose. Give the little hose a tug and breath normally -as we plummet to the earth. If you are traveling with a child, put the child's mask on first and then your own. If you are traveling with two children, decide which of the two children you love the most.
5. In the event of a water landing -we prefer the word "landing" as opposed to "crash"- your seat will act as a flotation device...at least until the sharks come. Then it will act as a bobber. To defend yourself against a shark attack, punch the shark smartly in the nose. If that doesn't work, poke it in the eye with your stub.

Thank-you once again for flying Satan airways flight 666 from New York to Athens. We hope you have a dreadful flight.

Operation Wal-mart Freedom

Recently, I was shopping at the only department mega store that is so large that it could have its own climate. Yes, I was at Wal-Mart (motto: We'll take your money and then your soul). I was there for the same reasons many Americans shop there. It is cheap (a nice perception but not always the truth) and everything can be found under one roof (again a nice perception). So I purchased a case of 10W-30 motor oil. Then I gleefully left to cleanse the engine of my auto. On my 45 min commute back to the house, I needed gasoline. So I stopped at the local fueling station only to find a news truck and a note-toting reporter preparing for a broadcast.

I find it interesting how the local news approaches the topic of auto fuel. There is always some jovial character anchoring the news and they talk (via satellite) to an on-site reporter who is strategically positioned in front of a sign advertising the prices per gallon. This humors me because Americans are almost as dependent on gasoline as we are on blood in our veins, water in our bodies, and Wal-Mart on our streets. We see these pumps ALL OF THE TIME, we know the prices! But that fact does not deter the mindless reporter who continues the monologue about all of this grievances people have over gasoline prices because of the war. What the reporter fails to note is, unlike wars of the past, we are not rationing our resources. Where are the liberty gardens of WWII? Where are the lines of vehicles for fuel rations during Vietnam?

This past week the US congress met to discuss a new budget for the war in Iraq. They substantially slashed Bush's requested budget (for the Iraqi war) to a tidy $609 bil for the next two fiscal years. This really sounds like a lot of money (my history students marveled at that sum of money). Yet, this price tag accounts for only about 1% of the national budget. By the end of the year 2007 we will have officially made the second conflict with Iraq the most expensive war the United States has ever been involved in (even greater than that of WWII). When we can wage the most expensive war in all history and only notice a few cents of difference at the store, we are loaded. Lesson to learn: America is richer than it has ever been. During WWII 35% of the national budget was consumed by war efforts. Rations were common, people were encouraged to grow gardens, and excess was having a little change in your pocket at the end of the day. How different it is in our contemporary times.

As a point of interest, I looked up the projected gross profits for Wal-Mart for the 2007-08 fiscal year. As it turns out, Wal-Mart's estimated gross profits are double what the United States has set aside to fight the war in Iraq. Accountants will tell you to look at a person's budget and spending habits and you can then learn a person's priorities. So where are America's priorities? Why?

Think about it! Wal-mart could take over a foreign country. Its troops (armed with laser scanners and clipboards) would march into combat with the customer service skills that fit their extensive customer service training (daily beatings with rubber hoses and verbal abuse). These blue-vested geriatrics & teens would flash their name tags and ruthlessly ignore the enemy until they simply give up and go to Shopko. That is what Wal-mart could do to another country. It is a grizzly scene. I know this scene because Wal-mart HAS decided to take over a country -its own.

Until it succeeds though, I hope that the men and women of the world -who daily put their lives on the line- don't mind if I ignore their sacrifice and instead choose to complain about the extra 30 cents I have to pay at the pump.

Old People

Yes, it is alumni weekend at the high school. Old people come and wander around to look at how things have changed and to see if their favorite make-out spot is still available (probably occupied by current students). It is 9 years for me and next year I plan to drive my fantastic car and wear my amazing clothes to make everyone think I am super fly (or whatever these teens say now days). Isn't that what it is all about? Look at how spectacular I am, I bought a red Ford.

There is nothing quite as comforting as growing older. I am glad those pimple inducing, relationship drama, backstabbing years of teenage hood are gone (actually for some it is only the pimples that have changed). When I look back on my high school years, I realize how retarded we all were in our flannel "Nirvana-style" shirts. At least I thought that until I read this week that Courtney Love is finally selling Kurt Cobain's stuff at auction. She says that she still sleeps in his pajamas (now that is really lame). The only Teen Spirit that is left is their son, who has to be messed up - just look at his mother's life and father's death.

The teens of today have more technology at their fingertips than we ever did. Cell phones actually fit in your pocket now...and get pretty good coverage (much to the frustration of many teachers). Today's teenager thinks that dial-up internet connections are contemporaries with feudalism and the invention of the wheel. Hasn't the internet ALWAYS existed? Exercise is laughable when compared to the thrill gained through gaming and chatting. Maybe this is why education in america is hummoraging.

The Gates Foundation just opened a new "smart school" (which at the rate of change in technology will soon be a "stupid school") in an inner part of LA. The idea is refreshing to this teacher. All classrooms are paper free. Class moves around the facility, depending on what the teacher wants to accomplish, and all class times and meeting places are posted on the school's intra net. Much of the material students will be involved with will LITERALLY involve them physically, mentally, and socially. Gaming companies are writing software to teach students while they play (of course 1st person shooters at school is taboo). I guess what I am saying is that it is time for change. To think that pure lecture and current assessment methods is the best way to teach is blind and ignorant to the network effect the modern student (or terrorist) has available to them.

Unfortunately, many of the teachers who I discuss this with in Spokane are resistant to this change because it would mean more education classes (why bother when you're getting paid less than someone who works at McDonald's 5 days a week...Seriously where are our priorities). Also, many old timers are not nearly as adept at technology as their students and it is simply embarrassing. So we stick with the same old methods of teaching and our students grow up with little interest in self improvement because it isn't relevant.

This is something to think about when wandering your old snogging points at your high school reunion. If the trees are bigger, the buildings different, and the kids look different...then times have changed and so must we.

Bits and Pieces

To my faithful readers (meaning just myself because it has been forever since my last post)...

The past few months have found me in various states of repair because chaos has decided to take over life. The short version is that I now have no appendix, missed 4.5 weeks of work due to further illness, and really hate fresh dog droppings on my dress shirts. So now I am one dress shirt fewer, have a 5 inch scar (which is totally brutal from my 10 staples!), and am thankful every time I can stand without the world spinning faster than it should (Scientists say: "about 1,038 miles per hour").

The New puppy is super cute and is basically potty trained. She is more mellow than Zoe. I hope to make a Star Wars shot with her as I did with Zoe in my March of 2006 with Zoe Wars (oh, and my Darth Vader suit has improved since then).

My recent bit of excitement comes in the form of a helmet and a coin (soon to be accompanied by more artifacts). My history students connect with history better if they can hold it in their hands so my collection of Confederate Money, Nazi money, etc. has slowly been growing. My most recent purchase is an M1 infantryman's helmet from Vietnam. It is the same style used during WWII (Band of Brothers etc.) but was much cheaper than one used in WWII. I haven't done all of the research on it yet but what I have found on the helmet so far is that it was in Vietnam by an army infantryman from '69 to '70 used by one of 5 different people (who I am currently trying to track down to see if I can identify which person was the one who owned the helmet).

It has a double shell with the outer one being steel and the inner fiberglass. The double shell design saved many people because a bullet would pass through the steel but get trapped between the fiberglass and steel. Therefore, saving a man's life. Of course a direct hit was usually fatal but the glancing bullet wouldn't hurt as much with this option.

SO enough nerding for now! Cheers to all my readers (...just me when I'm bored).

greekspeedoman

The family grows

My last post was in October. Some may have even given up on my blog and never visit again. Yet, this (as president Bush would say "Shock and Awe") mind-blowing blog is here to save my reputation. This may be as shocking as my favorite student comment so far this year (when writing a personal reflective essay).........."We not dumb". Hmmm...that might be debatable.

In recent months, many things have happened in life. More recording with Seven Years Absence, grading and other teacher stuff, making guitar effects pedals from scratch, rewiring and insulating my electric guitar, riding my bike, and writing. In the midst of all of this mayhem, our family is gaining another member. Zoe is going to have a sibling.

Sasha (Zoe's mom: the Black schnauzer) got impregnated and gave birth. She was enormous. Her water broke and she went into labor. 4 hours into the labor, no puppies had been born yet and she was rushed to the Vet. They x-rayed and found there were four puppies. One was stuck in the birth canal (and was dead). They did an emergency operating to extricate the remaining puppies. Before they could get to them all, another puppy broke out of the sack and died. Sasha ended up having only two puppies. She is in excruciating pain. Pain killers are not an option because she is nursing. Her incision is about 4 inches long (on a 12 lb. dog). The two surviving puppies are cute fat little things. Their paws are about the size of the end of a woman's little finger.

The darker puppy is the female and the pink nosed one is the male. Both are so cute and lovable. They are about the length of a person's hand and the diameter of a Costco hot dog. We have our choice of either or both dogs. The decision isn't made yet. Leave me a note to help us decide. We are also interested in doggy names if you have one to offer.


SO, until I write again (2012????). Blessings and Happy Holidays. May your Holiday season be filled with all those things that make our hearts warm and our bank accounts empty.

greekspeedoman

Music....MAN

So it has been like a million years since my last update. I have no reasons other than I am a teacher. Simply put, it is a busy job and, as you can tell, I'm aging quickly because of it!

So far school is going well. This year's seniors were my first class. I taught them as freshmen and now they are going to be leaving. At first I was pretty bummed about that but now I am happy for them (“I am happy for them” is code for “I want them to leave” he he. Not really but I think they will be ready soon and I can’t wait to see what they can accomplish). I moved my offices into the same area and now the Yearbook and I can communicate better. We also designed a killer cover for the book. It is pretty daring and edgy and may draw some criticism but I think it rocks. My yearbook staffs are amazing and creative.

The recording and mixing and recording and mixing etc… has continued for Seven Years Absence. We have been working on a soundtrack for a film being filmed in Chicago. Another song was recently picked up for a film being shown in Spokane at the FOX theater. That song is the one which has had the time pressures recently. It has been fun and a huge learning experience. I have heard the new song 1 second at a time about 300 times (pretty close to reality). I still like it and I think that is a good sign for the success of the band. It really is nice to work with such a great band. And the dog is getting used to having drums in the house. She’ll even hang out in the studio while we record some drum parts which almost inspire one to have an out of body experience.

There is some music which has lit my head on fire recently. Three albums in specific. Falling Up's new remix CD “Exit Lights” is mind-blazingly genius. Just when you think there is no other style or creative way of presenting their material they pull a quick remix that would make almost any other band's remix sound like pennies in a dryer on a cold January morning in the middle of a pond (translation: it makes other bands sound really lame).

Another project making my ears scream for more is the new Skillet album. After "Collide" I wasn't sure where they would go. It was a departure from their "techno-ish" effects mixed with a pretty burly rock part. Collide opened a whole can of brilliance in the use of guitars, vocal effects, and string parts. “Collide” is Skillet's "Joshua Tree" or "Abbey Road". However, the new album "Comatose" has some phenomenal songs on board. It has a similar feel to "Collide" but a bit more commercial. It seems that Skillet is realizing their niche market and is catering to that market with snappier more polished work. It seems obvious that they know how critical "Collide" is to their career and "Comatose" seems to be an attempt to defend their market space while making a few tweaks to their style. All in all a solid effort and one I will be listening to repeatedly for a very long time (translation: until I go blissfully deaf by listening to it with the volume at 50+).

So the love song king wrote another "pop" album for all the love struck college girls out there (insert uncontrollable screaming here). John Mayer released “Continuum” a few weeks ago and I have had many good listens of his new project. John's music has decidedly changed. This is his first effort at producing as well as writing and recording an album. With that change comes a more mature sound (sorry college ladies). I think it is a nice change for him. He continues to appeal to the love sick but throws in a few brutal guitar riffs to keep everyone awake. It is a good album in that he breaks a few rules (i.e. writing music that will be worn out on superficial pop stations the world over). His new music is like the work of old: Some solid music for the sake of music and to make an album a whole work which is not intended to be sold in pieces. It is nice to see an artist do the old school (even his cover is old school). Oh, and John Mayer has inspired me on his blog. He has started making his own guitar effects pedals. This is a plan of mine as well. I am working on the design for the circuit boards and making a list of parts. I'll let you know how it goes (if i don't electrocute myself to death).

So I did the face recognition thing at myheritage.com which compares your face with celebrity faces. The program run all sorts of tests on the geometry of my face etc... and here are the results. I thought they were funny but finally my students are justified in calling me one of these celebrities (can you guess which one?).

Well, enough boring writing. Remember...you might be a redneck if your last physical was aboard a UFO.

Cheers,


GreekSpeedo

Just Call Me George Martin.

George Martin was the producer for the Beatles during all of their years as a band. He was the one who asked John Lennon to kick Pete Best off of the drums and find another drummer (one Richard Starkey –i.e. Ringo. He possesses the creative drumming technique of a human metronome. The most amazing thing is that it was exactly what The Beatles needed!). The Beatles and George Martin were knighted for their musical efforts.

Anyhow, our basement has been invaded (at least this is what the dog thought). No, it is not the constant flooding because the building should have been torn down 45 years ago. It is a little phenomena called "Seven Years Absence". They have been shopping around for a studio to record at and came and checked out my studio (Studio L18). I know the band quite well. I have known Nick (guitars) and Casey (vocals) since they were pudgy little 2nd or 3rd graders, Brian (Bass) from some improv acting we did together with Nick, Alan (guitars) I've known since he was a toddler and he was a student of mine, and Mike I've known for about 3 hours and didn't really have time to get to know him over the explosions coming from his drum set. Good guys. Here is the band's MySpace site.

Anyhow, we got to work right away trying to assemble rock-climbing equipment to make up for the lack of a mic stand (I really have no idea where it went). The guys seemed pleased and we have another date to record again. Currently, they are working on some material for a soundtrack to a movie being produced in Chicago. There is much work to be done on the first song but we have a rough track and things seem fairly good. It has been a while since I have been involved in some serious recording and I almost forgot how much fun it is.

I am truly shocked that they wanted to come back and record at Studio L18 again because it is so stinking small and I have no mic stands! I have it set up for one track at a time recording (which worked out fine) but the drum set in a room the size of two twin mattresses is a bone jarring experience. In fact, I went to my yearly teacher's physical and the doctor told me that my internal organs were gelled from all of the shocking rhythm (Note for the humor impaired: that was a joke.)

Ten days from now teaching resumes but until then I think we'll see if we can't knock loose another cinder block so that our constantly flooded basement is even worse. Who knows, maybe we'll be forced to move into a house that doesn't have the Amazon running through the walls onto the floor.
Until then, I hope that things continue to go well for this new band and I hope I never end up looking like George Martin (he is bald for goodness sakes!)...although I wouldn't mind being knighted.

Sir greekspeedoman

Skytrooper...Jump!

Crazy things are happening. The B-Budget film seems to have come to its conclusion (hidden meaning...Steven Segal killed Kevin Costner with his acting and then was abducted by the Cubans when they invaded the US from outer space). Actually, the script seemed to run out when we found a new-to-us car (one which is much better than the one which was stolen and wrecked). You can read about it at my lovely lady's blog.

Yesterday, we went to Sky Fest 2006 at Fairchild Air force Base. It was a lot of fun. I had a momentary brush with history. Those brushes with history are exhilarating and thought provoking. I have had these moments when standing in a German bunker on Omaha beach looking at where a grenade or shoulder launched rocked exploded against the wall and ceiling, standing on the D Day beaches and in the cemeteries with an odd feeling that I had arrived home, running my hand along a 100 ft. piece of the Berlin wall, Standing atop Hitler's bunker and looking over to the capital building where he came into power, walking through concentration camps and experiencing odd feelings of horror mixed with a peace only found in a park, looking down onto the lights of Tokyo and wondering what it was like that night Tokyo was firebombed, talking with elderly people in the Philippines about the American and Japanese occupation, and the list goes on. There are so many moments and I never expected yesterday to hold one of those moments...But it did.

We toured a Douglas C-53D "Skytrooper". It was originally manufactured in Santa Monica, CA for an airliner but was used by the military for service during WWII. It was modified to carry paratroopers and tow gliders. In fact, this airplane (which still flies) flew with the second wave of paratroopers during the D-Day invasion. It transported the paratroopers of the 82nd airborne (All American) and the 101st airborne (Screamin' Eagles). The 101st has recently been the feature of Stephen Ambrose's book turned miniseries "The Band of Brothers". The C-53D also flew missions over Bastogne, FR during the battle of the Bulge when the ill-equipped 101st airborne was pinned down by the Germans during one of the most brutal winters (and battles) seen in Europe.

What was amazing, for me, was to walk through this airplane. The seats where the paratroopers sat are metal with seat belts the cockpit a simple endeavor (simpler than Cessnas I flew while in college). What struck me, though, was what had occurred in that fuselage. How many prayers had been prayed as the plane was being shocked by German anti-aircraft fire. How many of those men thought of parents, spouses, children, and friends? How many jumped from the door in which I entered and never made it home to see those people they loved so dearly? I picture them sitting there stone faced with glazed eyes being jolted with every shock from exploding flack. Ready to fling themselves into battle but scared to do so. Checking their gear and the 80 lb leg pack (which most cut off as soon as possible) and mentally preparing themselves to fall to the earth and find themselves instantly surrounded. What an amazing place are those 27 seats.

To make the experience more mind blowing, a man sat at the back of the cockpit. He was in his WWII dress uniform. He flew 24 missions over Europe in B-17s. Since I am a history nerd I recognized several things about this retired pilot. Among the metals decorating the front of his uniform there were two which interested me. The first was above his right pocket and indicated that he fought in operation Overlord (D-Day). Another metal over his left pocket indicated that he was wounded during the war. At the rear of the plane stood a man who piloted B-29s over the South Pacific. So there is another moment in time to remember. Another brush with D-Day. Another exciting and sobering experience.

I wonder how many people, as they tour that plane, will even think about what it means. They come in with their cotton candy, tennis shoes, and denim shorts and jockey for the front of the line or the best seat. Yet, they are oblivious of what that plane really is. Below are some more photos I shot during the air show (click on the photos for bigger shots).

F-15E in full after burner just shy of the sound barrier.
F-15E in a knife edge turn. Click for a bigger picture and see the moisture coming off of the wings! The pilot is experiencing about 7 times the normal pull of gravity.

F-117 Stealth Fighter (protected by armed guards with authorization to use deadly force).

This one is known for being sneaky (same goes for the airplane)...here comes that deadly force!

F-18 Hornet and the P-51 Mustang flying in formation. I'm a little proud of this one since the moon is in the background and the set up is pretty good.

The Thunderbird team (F-16C).

Thunderbirds in the classic diamond formation.

4 Thunderbirds with one threading its way between them. Click on picture for a better view. Another picture I am happy to have shot. They are going about 700 mph. Timing is critical.
From afar in a coordinated inverted roll while in formation.

Straight up and silent. The roar followed shortly after this photo.

Later, greekspeedoman

The B budget Film continues...

Kevin Costner here with act 3 of the B-budget film. Yes, it is true. The 2006 summer drama continues. First it was a flash flood. Then a local house and out building caught fire and burned.

Now, in a strange twist of fate, we only have one car. The very car (pictured in my post "Flash Flood @ Home") which saved our lives during the flash flood was stolen by bad people with beer last Tuesday night. They proceeded to treat it poorly and eventually drove it into a tree, bush, and someone's fence. We were out of town and the police had trouble getting a hold of us but eventually we awoke to a startling phone call. Our car was involved in a hit and run. At one point, the police were wondering if my wife was involved because her name was on the title.

My wife, of course, wasn't there (as far as I know....hmmmmm). It isn't like her to crash her car into a fence and leave it running at 12:04 am. The police weren't able to catch the suspects because they were elsewhere doing important police related business (giving a ticket to a speeding bicyclist or something equally important). Apparently, catching two punk thieves, with a screwdriver capable to destroying both front leather seats, an entire dashboard, and a steering column, don't rate high on the police "to-catch" list.

Okay, sarcasm aside. The police were very helpful (Thank-you officer Watson...YES, that is his real name...And yes he is a Private Investigator). Watson is no elementary P.I.. Also, the mechanic who had our car when it was stolen is also a very nice guy and helpful. Even the thieves were nice and left about 16 cans of unopened cheap beer in our back seat. Our insurance company totaled the car and so now we are down to the "nice" car (heavy sarcasm). The "nice" car has 320,000 miles on it, broken door locks, about 6 feet of cracks in the windshield. So basically, I have nothing to worry about. Someone could look at it wrong and I'd be out $10. At least that one wont' be as horrifying to work with if it gets ruined.

Speaking of horrifying...I just finished reading "HOUSE" by Ted Dekker and Frank Peretti. I read it in about 18 hours (380 pages). Needless to say, it is really good. It messes with the mind. It is also going to be a movie in 2007 (although I won't see it because the book was giving me bladder problems from fright). That is about all I will say here.

Speaking of finishing up business. Sometime, I plan to make a post of our sun valley trip. Keep posted and you'll see that and perhaps pictures of the wrecked car.



Later,

Kevin Costner

A Series of Fortunate or Unfortunate Events

It's been a while since my last posting. So far, this has been a crazy summer. I spent a week in Utah doing some recruiting at a camp meeting. Most of the people at the camp meeting were older than the bricks the school is made of so things didn't go especially well. But I finished a good book ("Monster" by Frank Peretti). It is not his best but still fun. I also had some fun theological "fights" with some Mormon people. We had fun and left as friends (neither party completely understanding the other). That was fun.

There are several things that have happened recently. Here are a few of the most exciting.

My last post was about the Spangle flood. We must be some sort of B budget film out here because now we've had a house fire as well. I turned down the firefighters, when they asked me to join them, because I knew I would have to deal with medical things I don't want to deal with. So, not as a fireman, I helped take personal belongings out of a burning building. (between the flood and this fire I might as well call myself Kevin Costner or some other lame action "hero").

Speaking of fires and that of passion and love, RJ and Katie got married. A nice wedding in Wally World. A nice program with some humor and a simple yet elegant atmosphere. Kudos to the new family and may you achieve all of your goals together!

In related, goal achieving, news...I am rooting for Portugal in the World Cup. We got heavy exposure to Portugal when they were playing Greece in the 2004 Euro Cup. We were fortunate enough to be in Athens for several months during the Olympics and when Greece beat Portugal in the Euro Cup. This means we got to see 10 Million insane Greeks flood the streets of Athens to make the earth literally shake for their heroes. So far, things have been going OK for Portugal. Their last game had a Russian official with the intellectual capacity of an empty tube of toothpaste. As a result, they are playing England 2 players short. Their chances seem slim but I still root for them. Figo is my fav. player. He is so smooth.

Smooth athletes also goes with another recent event. The Iron Man Coeur d'Alene. DJ P Freddy did it this year (see his bike photo). YAY Freddy! It is a 2.5 mile swim, 112 mile bike ride, followed by a full marathon run (26 miles). I understand the Iron Man committee was contemplating setting fire to all participants and feeding them to wild boar in addition to the normal events. The proposition was voted down on the basis that the Iron Man participants would already be dead at the end of the swim, bike, and run (for the humor impared: that last two sentences were a joke). I actually saw a man wearing a Speedo at this event! He was German however and cannot be displayed on this blog (for numerous horrific reasons...none of which have to do with the fact that he is German). Some of the bicycles I saw appear to be more valuable than the gross domestic product of Uruguay and others looked really sad.

On a happy note, we put in a fence and Zoe is beside herself with excitement. It was our first major accomplishment of the year (since last week was my first week off). It is really nice to know that the puppy is safe and that she can dig, run, and roll in do do (this actually happened...it was in her ear!) as much as she likes. Speaking of yard work...if anyone knows how to get thistles out of a lawn I would really appreciate it. I keep killing them with spray but they are like the Christians of the early church. The more you kill them the more they multiply. I even say "die pagan scum" when I spray each one (and that is the honest truth).

I have also started growing my own herbal teas. Here is a picture of my camomile. I think I'll have quite a bit this year. I am excited about this prospect. I have researched growing tea for about a year and finally decided to do it. So now I can pull out my little plastic baggy with plant product in it and honestly say "I grow my own."

Anyhoo, next week we will be in Sun Valley living it up and this week I am starting my work on my 3 college classes for this summer.

In unrelated but exciting news, I love Hooverphonic's new album and Portishead is coming out with a new one (their first in 10 years). So basically the world of trip hop is treating me well.

So until the next natural disaster...

greekspeedoman (AKA Kevin Costner)

Flash Flood @ Home

We were traveling back home last night and found ourselves surrounded by water. What should have been a pasture was a lake and there was about 4 -6 inches of rushing water over the road. Matters got worse when we realized that the bridge back to the school campus and home was under about 3 -4 feet of water. Here is our poor car after having a river of mud flow over it. Luckily, Subaru has a height adjuster on the struts and we were able to raise the car about 2 inches by pushing a button.

At one point, the cafeteria was helping to redirect the "river" which was moving fast and about 3 -4 feet up the outside wall of the cafeteria. Miraculously, not a drop of water got into the cafeteria because the doors were packed shut with mud, straw and sticks. The dorms didn't fair as well. The girl's dorm had one wing which flooded (about 1 -2 inches). The boy's dorm flooded about 6 - 8 inches (1st floor). One of the stairwells was about 5 feet deep at one point and it was decided not to open that door.


Many of us staff worked late in the dorm to get the water out as well as all of the storage (for students and the dorm). There were a few wet boxes but most wasn't too bad. We lost several mattresses in the guy's dorm and the carpet is an absolute mess.

Here is a news report from KREM 2 on the flood. At about 1 min is the beginning of the report. You'll see a dodge ram sitting outside a building. That truck was parked in front of the cafeteria. Our grounds are a wreck and our student workers are gone so it will be a long time coming to fix things back up again.

Several people's homes flooded. We had some flooding in our basement but not too bad. The basement normally floods anytime it rains (because the house is so old). There was more this time. It got into the big room in the basement. There was one staff house where they got about 200 gallons out of the hallway.

Here are some photos (all were shot when the water was lower so you can see things rather than something that just looks like the ocean).

It was washing over the railroad tracks. At this point, the water was only about 2 -3 feet deep over the road.
This is the airstrip.
Our cafeteria after the water was subsiding. You can see pieces of the road that were torn up by the water too.
Behind the cafeteria. Remember: The cafe does have a basement (which was filled with and under water at this point). Now this whole area is about a foot of mud.
The bridge to the church was also under water. This is about 3 trees (20 - 40 ft) all stuck under the bridge.
No one knows were this bail came from. It is a big one. The Mrs. is standing next to it (no trick photography).
The Mrs. marks the water line for the "river" which was rushing past the sign. Behind the sign, it was much deeper.

So all in all, I'm glad this wasn't graduation weekend and that no one is here. Yet, it would be nice to have an army to help put things back together. No one died so I guess this is the perfect tradgedy!

Soggy Salutations, Greekspeedoman

Graduation 2006!

Well, The seniors of 2006 are now gone and a new batch will arrive soon. Summer is here and life is exciting. I have slept in and been working harder than during the normal school year. Grades are due and I am preparing to make a trip to Utah next week to do some recruiting.

EXCITING NEWS!!! We attended Post Falls High School's graduation last night and got to see Nicole graduate. She was all smiles and did very well. She was probably the best behaved student in the group. She was so excited about the whole thing that nothing could phase her. It was impossible to avoid the crushing hugs and smiles. We're so proud of her!

In related news, my Seniors graduated on Sunday. It was nice to see many of them march (especially those who barely made it). My friends and companions for the 2006 - 2007 year. I had the commencement speech. It was probably the most stressful thing I have ever done and normally I wouldn't have done it except it was for my students. These four girls introduced me and sufficiently embarrassed me. They are my nuns. They talked too much so I made them into a convent and subjected them to a vow of silence (which didn't really work but it was a nice idea). If you care, here is a copy of my speech (it is a bit long).

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Trajectory: – Commencement 2006

I. Friends, families, UCA staff, board members, and total strangers, welcome to the commencement program for the class of 2006. I'’m going to be blunt and honest with everyone. I find my name listed as the commencement speaker to be impossible. Earlier this year, the very idea that I would be asked to speak for the 2006 commencement never even crossed my mind it was so impossible. I mean, what kind of sick and twisted class would want to hear from a teacher that are required to spend time with every school day of the year! I also thought it brave of you to let me have the last word. You guys are nuts and I love that about you. This is the class of 2006 and I am honored to be here with you in this little earth shaking moment.

II. Another little moment: an “"impossible” idea" JFK
a. Land a man on the moon before 1970.
b. One man pitched an idea
i. A nation mobilized and began working.

c. Failure was dealt with.

i. JFK saw the Saturn I rocket but that was all (murdered in 1963).

ii. Gus Grissim, Ed White, Roger Chaffee died in January of 1967.

d. Success

i. 1969 we landed on the moon because of one man'’s Big Hairy Audacious Goal.

ii. This took nearly a decade of planning, thinking, testing, and computing to devise a vehicle capable of getting to the moon and then determining its correct trajectory so that it would reach the intended goal.

e. PBS interviewed a historian (Let'’s call him professor smarty pants from somewhere. The man's name doesn'’t make a huge impression on me it was what he said that matters). He proposed that thousands of years from now, this current part of earth's history will be remembered for one thing...Chuck Norris. No, I'm kidding. Chuck Norris is a sick obsession amongst this class which has rubbed off on me. This historian proposed that this time in earth's history will be remembered as the time when people who successfully ventured off of the planet into space. Looking back through centuries of history and what various generations are remembered for, I think he could be correct (with the addition of nuclear age). This bothers me. Class of 2006, is this what you want written on your tombstones? "I lived during man'’s first ventures into space and atomic research."” Is that your ultimate goal? Why can'’t we take a queue from JFK and determine a trajectory that will change the world again? A New Moment in time!

III. This is the moment you have been anticipating all year. Essentially, it is your launch: a small event that can change the world. T minus 1 hour and counting.

a. High School is something you complete. Life is something you experience.

i. 1st grade to here.

ii. Things have changed in the last 4 years!

1. Music

a. The round format

b. MP3 players

c. When I graduated from High School we had collections of CDs which required the use of fork-lifts to move.

d. Now entire music collections can be listened to from a device the size of a toenail.

e. Times will continue to change. Millions of songs will be circulating in our blood streams. But do we define these changes as success?

iv. Grades and results do matter but I donÂ’t think we should define success in matters of grades and results.

b. Success is defined in a variety of ways. Someday, you will find that people will no longer be grading you. At this point, I hope that success will come from your own internal sense of decency and love of others. After all, excellence is not a skill. It is an attitude which determines your life'’s trajectory.

IV. So here are four tips to help you and your families (because this is a beginning for them as well) on your journey as you launch today and choose your trajectory.

a. Travel: I have never learned so much about life as when I travel. Languages, food, people, and how cultures work are all invaluable experiences. I have never come home knowing everything. It is actually the opposite. Every time I have traveled back I return marveling at how little I know. There are so many questions to be answered. This has been beneficial in my life because I recognize that I am ignorant. Ignorance is not a bad thing. Knowing we are ignorant is what makes a wise person wise. Basically, travel puts life in perspective. What changes people'’s lives? The Eiffel tower or love? The Mona Lisa or a smile? It is a humbling experience I encourage all of you to spend time traveling.

b. Also, point two, spend time with your loved ones. On the surface, hanging out with your parents, grandparents, guardians, and all of their friends may seem boring. Yet, there is so much experience and advice our elders can offer us. Never to be so proud that you won't tell your friends and family that you love them (Because you cannot do it when they are gone).

i. When you have families of your own. Make them your career and don'’t leave them for a job somewhere. Even in ministry this is vital. No one can respect a pastor, teacher, or Christian who doesn'’t demonstrate love in their families. The greatest calling any human has is to love their family and spend time with them. Many of you have benefited from this type of environment and many have not. But no matter what I encourage you to make your family a better one than the one you grew up in.

ii. Families (both seniors and families), this is a time of trajectory for you as well. I have spent time with your men and women. Times of joy, anger, sorrow, and excitement. Here are a few ideas for our families after spending time with your kids.

1. We need to learn to let our grudges die. Probably the most heart rending thing to experience, as a teacher, is seeing a student being eaten alive by his or her emotions because their family is a mess. These messes vary but the trauma caused by families on themselves eats a family alive. We need to learn that WE are not the center of the universe. Our families will respect us more if we are willing to give up our pride.

2. Draw together. Plan times to hang out together and build or repair loving relationships within the family. Give up addictions to work, play, people, substances, television, or computer time to become your each other's best friend.

3. Parents! NEVER tell your child that he or she is unqualified to do what is in his or her heart. LISTEN to what they want to do and ask them questions to help them better understand what their dreams really are. Be a mentor and a guide not a fair-weather friend or dictator. This will require a life long commitment to learning about yourself and your child. Let them live their class motto to "be what they are!"

4. Students and Parents: PRAY, PRAY, PRAY, for and with each other. There is no better way to stay united than to make Love the center of your lives and families. If we learn nothing more in life let us remember to pray.

c. Never stop learning. If we researched the most successful people, companies, and countries in the world, we would find one thing in common among all of them. The unquenchable thirst for knowledge and experience. Part of this learning experience, I believe, is recognizing how valuable You are to this life and what you are capable of. You may think, "“Hey I'’m only one person what can I do?"” Perhaps the biggest lesson we can learn in life is how one person can change the world. Look at some people who died this year who single handedly changed the world.

i. Rosa Parks: unintentionally started a bus boycott in the southern US. Became an icon of the civil rights movement.

ii. Coretta King: A woman who endured hell on earth because of her family'’s cause for freedom from discrimination of all groups of people in the United States and around the world. Dr. King could not have done it alone. She was Vital to their mission and chosen trajectory.

iii. Just think. If one person can throw out an idea and a nation lands on the moon, a battle against injustice is fought, and thousands choose to walk to work rather than ride the bus, then what can the 2006 seniors of UCA accomplish? I really feel that there are "“NO LIMITS"”. Seniors you need to prepare yourselves for the possibility that sometimes big changes follow small events. Here is an example of what I am talking about.

iv. A piece of paper, when folded 50 times, will stretch to the sun. A small change goes a long way.

v. Dog in the snow. A 3 degree change in temperature and a dog's world is completely different. Dogs treat snow as the greatest gift on the planet. So what is our greatest gift?

d. Experience the Gift.

i. What we are is God's gift to us. What we become is our gift to God. Don't let fear get in your way.

ii. Pandemics and fear.

iii. Bird Flu

iv. AIDS

v. What about the Jesus bug?

1. There are people who do not think of God as being up there and humans being down here. These are people who live and breathe God and his love. Now many people get caught up in the nitty gritty details about God (and they are fun). But a person can become so enamored with the details of an infinite God that they fail to see what God is all about. But the principles of Jesus'’ life: Love, compassion, forgiveness, generosity, and justice ARE qualities we can wrap our heads around and calculate into our life'’s trajectory.

2. The smallest decisions you make do make a world of difference. One date with someone can change your lives for better or for worse (so only date intending to marry). One dumb decision can land you in jail for a lifetime (so think about your actions and motivations). One off-handed comment can destroy a relationship or family (so learn when to be spontaneous and when to think ahead). These are all parts of setting your trajectory.

3. Set your trajectory and when you fail, take a note from NASA, don't dwell in your shame. Romans 8 says that there is NOTHING that can separate us from God'’s love. Do you realize that? Do you know that? You and I can do NOTHING that will make God love us less. NOTHING. NOTHING. Nothing.

4. When it comes right down to it...

a. Heaven will be full of people God loves and Jesus died for.

b. Hell will be full of people God loves and Jesus died for.

c. We are loved by God NO MATTER WHAT! Love is God's grand plan so that "you... may be able to comprehend and know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge."” Ephesians 3. 16 -– 19. Unstoppable, "‘no limits", love is his trajectory. We can'’t change God's love for us.

i. The question is: "Is God in my trajectory? Do I want to love God in return?"”

5. A positive epidemic of love and service can be started by a handful of people. You can start a positive epidemic in the Christian church, this nation, and the world. All you have to do is make God your moon project and work towards that Big Hairy audacious goal. One in which the earth will experience Christians as they have never been experienced. Loving, compassionate, generous, and just people, who's main concerns are not about hairstyles, soy meat, and church programs, but who's passion is found in a living God. A God so huge that he can love all of us together and each of us alone. NO MATTER WHAT!

6. The career you choose, the money you make, and the awards you receive do not matter unless you have an attitude of service and love. God doesn'’t need another millionaire (unless they have love). God doesn't need another poor person (unless they have love). God doesn't call everyone to be a pastor (Thank-you God). God needs mail people, physicists, doctors, lawyers, mechanics, sales people, and hair dressers who are passionate about spreading an epidemic of grace and love. You have only one life (only one small moment).

7. Remember: one small moment can change lives. Make that moment a positive one and do it with enthusiasm. "When you come to the fork in the road, take it"”. Go for it! Don't let anyone or anything stop your trajectory to create a positive epidemic in your corner of the world.

So here we are at the end. There is only one last thing to do...your launch sequence countdown... 5! Plan, train, and arrange your life'’s priorities...4! Don'’t dwell on failure but persevere through hard times... 3!love each other and your families in service...2! Recognize the possibility that some of life'’s biggest changes start from the smallest decisions...1! May your life become a response to the truth that you'’ve always been loved, are loved, and always will be loved by an infinite Creator. And may you know that there is NOTHING you could ever do to make God love you any less. Nothing. And may you realized that you are in a relationship with the living God and that He has called you to a trajectory of starting a positive epidemic. May God bless you by hunting you down with love, justice, mercy, compassion, and success...0. Mission Control, we have lift off!
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Cheers, Greekspeedoman