Skytrooper...Jump!

Crazy things are happening. The B-Budget film seems to have come to its conclusion (hidden meaning...Steven Segal killed Kevin Costner with his acting and then was abducted by the Cubans when they invaded the US from outer space). Actually, the script seemed to run out when we found a new-to-us car (one which is much better than the one which was stolen and wrecked). You can read about it at my lovely lady's blog.

Yesterday, we went to Sky Fest 2006 at Fairchild Air force Base. It was a lot of fun. I had a momentary brush with history. Those brushes with history are exhilarating and thought provoking. I have had these moments when standing in a German bunker on Omaha beach looking at where a grenade or shoulder launched rocked exploded against the wall and ceiling, standing on the D Day beaches and in the cemeteries with an odd feeling that I had arrived home, running my hand along a 100 ft. piece of the Berlin wall, Standing atop Hitler's bunker and looking over to the capital building where he came into power, walking through concentration camps and experiencing odd feelings of horror mixed with a peace only found in a park, looking down onto the lights of Tokyo and wondering what it was like that night Tokyo was firebombed, talking with elderly people in the Philippines about the American and Japanese occupation, and the list goes on. There are so many moments and I never expected yesterday to hold one of those moments...But it did.

We toured a Douglas C-53D "Skytrooper". It was originally manufactured in Santa Monica, CA for an airliner but was used by the military for service during WWII. It was modified to carry paratroopers and tow gliders. In fact, this airplane (which still flies) flew with the second wave of paratroopers during the D-Day invasion. It transported the paratroopers of the 82nd airborne (All American) and the 101st airborne (Screamin' Eagles). The 101st has recently been the feature of Stephen Ambrose's book turned miniseries "The Band of Brothers". The C-53D also flew missions over Bastogne, FR during the battle of the Bulge when the ill-equipped 101st airborne was pinned down by the Germans during one of the most brutal winters (and battles) seen in Europe.

What was amazing, for me, was to walk through this airplane. The seats where the paratroopers sat are metal with seat belts the cockpit a simple endeavor (simpler than Cessnas I flew while in college). What struck me, though, was what had occurred in that fuselage. How many prayers had been prayed as the plane was being shocked by German anti-aircraft fire. How many of those men thought of parents, spouses, children, and friends? How many jumped from the door in which I entered and never made it home to see those people they loved so dearly? I picture them sitting there stone faced with glazed eyes being jolted with every shock from exploding flack. Ready to fling themselves into battle but scared to do so. Checking their gear and the 80 lb leg pack (which most cut off as soon as possible) and mentally preparing themselves to fall to the earth and find themselves instantly surrounded. What an amazing place are those 27 seats.

To make the experience more mind blowing, a man sat at the back of the cockpit. He was in his WWII dress uniform. He flew 24 missions over Europe in B-17s. Since I am a history nerd I recognized several things about this retired pilot. Among the metals decorating the front of his uniform there were two which interested me. The first was above his right pocket and indicated that he fought in operation Overlord (D-Day). Another metal over his left pocket indicated that he was wounded during the war. At the rear of the plane stood a man who piloted B-29s over the South Pacific. So there is another moment in time to remember. Another brush with D-Day. Another exciting and sobering experience.

I wonder how many people, as they tour that plane, will even think about what it means. They come in with their cotton candy, tennis shoes, and denim shorts and jockey for the front of the line or the best seat. Yet, they are oblivious of what that plane really is. Below are some more photos I shot during the air show (click on the photos for bigger shots).

F-15E in full after burner just shy of the sound barrier.
F-15E in a knife edge turn. Click for a bigger picture and see the moisture coming off of the wings! The pilot is experiencing about 7 times the normal pull of gravity.

F-117 Stealth Fighter (protected by armed guards with authorization to use deadly force).

This one is known for being sneaky (same goes for the airplane)...here comes that deadly force!

F-18 Hornet and the P-51 Mustang flying in formation. I'm a little proud of this one since the moon is in the background and the set up is pretty good.

The Thunderbird team (F-16C).

Thunderbirds in the classic diamond formation.

4 Thunderbirds with one threading its way between them. Click on picture for a better view. Another picture I am happy to have shot. They are going about 700 mph. Timing is critical.
From afar in a coordinated inverted roll while in formation.

Straight up and silent. The roar followed shortly after this photo.

Later, greekspeedoman

The B budget Film continues...

Kevin Costner here with act 3 of the B-budget film. Yes, it is true. The 2006 summer drama continues. First it was a flash flood. Then a local house and out building caught fire and burned.

Now, in a strange twist of fate, we only have one car. The very car (pictured in my post "Flash Flood @ Home") which saved our lives during the flash flood was stolen by bad people with beer last Tuesday night. They proceeded to treat it poorly and eventually drove it into a tree, bush, and someone's fence. We were out of town and the police had trouble getting a hold of us but eventually we awoke to a startling phone call. Our car was involved in a hit and run. At one point, the police were wondering if my wife was involved because her name was on the title.

My wife, of course, wasn't there (as far as I know....hmmmmm). It isn't like her to crash her car into a fence and leave it running at 12:04 am. The police weren't able to catch the suspects because they were elsewhere doing important police related business (giving a ticket to a speeding bicyclist or something equally important). Apparently, catching two punk thieves, with a screwdriver capable to destroying both front leather seats, an entire dashboard, and a steering column, don't rate high on the police "to-catch" list.

Okay, sarcasm aside. The police were very helpful (Thank-you officer Watson...YES, that is his real name...And yes he is a Private Investigator). Watson is no elementary P.I.. Also, the mechanic who had our car when it was stolen is also a very nice guy and helpful. Even the thieves were nice and left about 16 cans of unopened cheap beer in our back seat. Our insurance company totaled the car and so now we are down to the "nice" car (heavy sarcasm). The "nice" car has 320,000 miles on it, broken door locks, about 6 feet of cracks in the windshield. So basically, I have nothing to worry about. Someone could look at it wrong and I'd be out $10. At least that one wont' be as horrifying to work with if it gets ruined.

Speaking of horrifying...I just finished reading "HOUSE" by Ted Dekker and Frank Peretti. I read it in about 18 hours (380 pages). Needless to say, it is really good. It messes with the mind. It is also going to be a movie in 2007 (although I won't see it because the book was giving me bladder problems from fright). That is about all I will say here.

Speaking of finishing up business. Sometime, I plan to make a post of our sun valley trip. Keep posted and you'll see that and perhaps pictures of the wrecked car.



Later,

Kevin Costner

A Series of Fortunate or Unfortunate Events

It's been a while since my last posting. So far, this has been a crazy summer. I spent a week in Utah doing some recruiting at a camp meeting. Most of the people at the camp meeting were older than the bricks the school is made of so things didn't go especially well. But I finished a good book ("Monster" by Frank Peretti). It is not his best but still fun. I also had some fun theological "fights" with some Mormon people. We had fun and left as friends (neither party completely understanding the other). That was fun.

There are several things that have happened recently. Here are a few of the most exciting.

My last post was about the Spangle flood. We must be some sort of B budget film out here because now we've had a house fire as well. I turned down the firefighters, when they asked me to join them, because I knew I would have to deal with medical things I don't want to deal with. So, not as a fireman, I helped take personal belongings out of a burning building. (between the flood and this fire I might as well call myself Kevin Costner or some other lame action "hero").

Speaking of fires and that of passion and love, RJ and Katie got married. A nice wedding in Wally World. A nice program with some humor and a simple yet elegant atmosphere. Kudos to the new family and may you achieve all of your goals together!

In related, goal achieving, news...I am rooting for Portugal in the World Cup. We got heavy exposure to Portugal when they were playing Greece in the 2004 Euro Cup. We were fortunate enough to be in Athens for several months during the Olympics and when Greece beat Portugal in the Euro Cup. This means we got to see 10 Million insane Greeks flood the streets of Athens to make the earth literally shake for their heroes. So far, things have been going OK for Portugal. Their last game had a Russian official with the intellectual capacity of an empty tube of toothpaste. As a result, they are playing England 2 players short. Their chances seem slim but I still root for them. Figo is my fav. player. He is so smooth.

Smooth athletes also goes with another recent event. The Iron Man Coeur d'Alene. DJ P Freddy did it this year (see his bike photo). YAY Freddy! It is a 2.5 mile swim, 112 mile bike ride, followed by a full marathon run (26 miles). I understand the Iron Man committee was contemplating setting fire to all participants and feeding them to wild boar in addition to the normal events. The proposition was voted down on the basis that the Iron Man participants would already be dead at the end of the swim, bike, and run (for the humor impared: that last two sentences were a joke). I actually saw a man wearing a Speedo at this event! He was German however and cannot be displayed on this blog (for numerous horrific reasons...none of which have to do with the fact that he is German). Some of the bicycles I saw appear to be more valuable than the gross domestic product of Uruguay and others looked really sad.

On a happy note, we put in a fence and Zoe is beside herself with excitement. It was our first major accomplishment of the year (since last week was my first week off). It is really nice to know that the puppy is safe and that she can dig, run, and roll in do do (this actually happened...it was in her ear!) as much as she likes. Speaking of yard work...if anyone knows how to get thistles out of a lawn I would really appreciate it. I keep killing them with spray but they are like the Christians of the early church. The more you kill them the more they multiply. I even say "die pagan scum" when I spray each one (and that is the honest truth).

I have also started growing my own herbal teas. Here is a picture of my camomile. I think I'll have quite a bit this year. I am excited about this prospect. I have researched growing tea for about a year and finally decided to do it. So now I can pull out my little plastic baggy with plant product in it and honestly say "I grow my own."

Anyhoo, next week we will be in Sun Valley living it up and this week I am starting my work on my 3 college classes for this summer.

In unrelated but exciting news, I love Hooverphonic's new album and Portishead is coming out with a new one (their first in 10 years). So basically the world of trip hop is treating me well.

So until the next natural disaster...

greekspeedoman (AKA Kevin Costner)

Flash Flood @ Home

We were traveling back home last night and found ourselves surrounded by water. What should have been a pasture was a lake and there was about 4 -6 inches of rushing water over the road. Matters got worse when we realized that the bridge back to the school campus and home was under about 3 -4 feet of water. Here is our poor car after having a river of mud flow over it. Luckily, Subaru has a height adjuster on the struts and we were able to raise the car about 2 inches by pushing a button.

At one point, the cafeteria was helping to redirect the "river" which was moving fast and about 3 -4 feet up the outside wall of the cafeteria. Miraculously, not a drop of water got into the cafeteria because the doors were packed shut with mud, straw and sticks. The dorms didn't fair as well. The girl's dorm had one wing which flooded (about 1 -2 inches). The boy's dorm flooded about 6 - 8 inches (1st floor). One of the stairwells was about 5 feet deep at one point and it was decided not to open that door.


Many of us staff worked late in the dorm to get the water out as well as all of the storage (for students and the dorm). There were a few wet boxes but most wasn't too bad. We lost several mattresses in the guy's dorm and the carpet is an absolute mess.

Here is a news report from KREM 2 on the flood. At about 1 min is the beginning of the report. You'll see a dodge ram sitting outside a building. That truck was parked in front of the cafeteria. Our grounds are a wreck and our student workers are gone so it will be a long time coming to fix things back up again.

Several people's homes flooded. We had some flooding in our basement but not too bad. The basement normally floods anytime it rains (because the house is so old). There was more this time. It got into the big room in the basement. There was one staff house where they got about 200 gallons out of the hallway.

Here are some photos (all were shot when the water was lower so you can see things rather than something that just looks like the ocean).

It was washing over the railroad tracks. At this point, the water was only about 2 -3 feet deep over the road.
This is the airstrip.
Our cafeteria after the water was subsiding. You can see pieces of the road that were torn up by the water too.
Behind the cafeteria. Remember: The cafe does have a basement (which was filled with and under water at this point). Now this whole area is about a foot of mud.
The bridge to the church was also under water. This is about 3 trees (20 - 40 ft) all stuck under the bridge.
No one knows were this bail came from. It is a big one. The Mrs. is standing next to it (no trick photography).
The Mrs. marks the water line for the "river" which was rushing past the sign. Behind the sign, it was much deeper.

So all in all, I'm glad this wasn't graduation weekend and that no one is here. Yet, it would be nice to have an army to help put things back together. No one died so I guess this is the perfect tradgedy!

Soggy Salutations, Greekspeedoman

Graduation 2006!

Well, The seniors of 2006 are now gone and a new batch will arrive soon. Summer is here and life is exciting. I have slept in and been working harder than during the normal school year. Grades are due and I am preparing to make a trip to Utah next week to do some recruiting.

EXCITING NEWS!!! We attended Post Falls High School's graduation last night and got to see Nicole graduate. She was all smiles and did very well. She was probably the best behaved student in the group. She was so excited about the whole thing that nothing could phase her. It was impossible to avoid the crushing hugs and smiles. We're so proud of her!

In related news, my Seniors graduated on Sunday. It was nice to see many of them march (especially those who barely made it). My friends and companions for the 2006 - 2007 year. I had the commencement speech. It was probably the most stressful thing I have ever done and normally I wouldn't have done it except it was for my students. These four girls introduced me and sufficiently embarrassed me. They are my nuns. They talked too much so I made them into a convent and subjected them to a vow of silence (which didn't really work but it was a nice idea). If you care, here is a copy of my speech (it is a bit long).

*************
Trajectory: – Commencement 2006

I. Friends, families, UCA staff, board members, and total strangers, welcome to the commencement program for the class of 2006. I'’m going to be blunt and honest with everyone. I find my name listed as the commencement speaker to be impossible. Earlier this year, the very idea that I would be asked to speak for the 2006 commencement never even crossed my mind it was so impossible. I mean, what kind of sick and twisted class would want to hear from a teacher that are required to spend time with every school day of the year! I also thought it brave of you to let me have the last word. You guys are nuts and I love that about you. This is the class of 2006 and I am honored to be here with you in this little earth shaking moment.

II. Another little moment: an “"impossible” idea" JFK
a. Land a man on the moon before 1970.
b. One man pitched an idea
i. A nation mobilized and began working.

c. Failure was dealt with.

i. JFK saw the Saturn I rocket but that was all (murdered in 1963).

ii. Gus Grissim, Ed White, Roger Chaffee died in January of 1967.

d. Success

i. 1969 we landed on the moon because of one man'’s Big Hairy Audacious Goal.

ii. This took nearly a decade of planning, thinking, testing, and computing to devise a vehicle capable of getting to the moon and then determining its correct trajectory so that it would reach the intended goal.

e. PBS interviewed a historian (Let'’s call him professor smarty pants from somewhere. The man's name doesn'’t make a huge impression on me it was what he said that matters). He proposed that thousands of years from now, this current part of earth's history will be remembered for one thing...Chuck Norris. No, I'm kidding. Chuck Norris is a sick obsession amongst this class which has rubbed off on me. This historian proposed that this time in earth's history will be remembered as the time when people who successfully ventured off of the planet into space. Looking back through centuries of history and what various generations are remembered for, I think he could be correct (with the addition of nuclear age). This bothers me. Class of 2006, is this what you want written on your tombstones? "I lived during man'’s first ventures into space and atomic research."” Is that your ultimate goal? Why can'’t we take a queue from JFK and determine a trajectory that will change the world again? A New Moment in time!

III. This is the moment you have been anticipating all year. Essentially, it is your launch: a small event that can change the world. T minus 1 hour and counting.

a. High School is something you complete. Life is something you experience.

i. 1st grade to here.

ii. Things have changed in the last 4 years!

1. Music

a. The round format

b. MP3 players

c. When I graduated from High School we had collections of CDs which required the use of fork-lifts to move.

d. Now entire music collections can be listened to from a device the size of a toenail.

e. Times will continue to change. Millions of songs will be circulating in our blood streams. But do we define these changes as success?

iv. Grades and results do matter but I donÂ’t think we should define success in matters of grades and results.

b. Success is defined in a variety of ways. Someday, you will find that people will no longer be grading you. At this point, I hope that success will come from your own internal sense of decency and love of others. After all, excellence is not a skill. It is an attitude which determines your life'’s trajectory.

IV. So here are four tips to help you and your families (because this is a beginning for them as well) on your journey as you launch today and choose your trajectory.

a. Travel: I have never learned so much about life as when I travel. Languages, food, people, and how cultures work are all invaluable experiences. I have never come home knowing everything. It is actually the opposite. Every time I have traveled back I return marveling at how little I know. There are so many questions to be answered. This has been beneficial in my life because I recognize that I am ignorant. Ignorance is not a bad thing. Knowing we are ignorant is what makes a wise person wise. Basically, travel puts life in perspective. What changes people'’s lives? The Eiffel tower or love? The Mona Lisa or a smile? It is a humbling experience I encourage all of you to spend time traveling.

b. Also, point two, spend time with your loved ones. On the surface, hanging out with your parents, grandparents, guardians, and all of their friends may seem boring. Yet, there is so much experience and advice our elders can offer us. Never to be so proud that you won't tell your friends and family that you love them (Because you cannot do it when they are gone).

i. When you have families of your own. Make them your career and don'’t leave them for a job somewhere. Even in ministry this is vital. No one can respect a pastor, teacher, or Christian who doesn'’t demonstrate love in their families. The greatest calling any human has is to love their family and spend time with them. Many of you have benefited from this type of environment and many have not. But no matter what I encourage you to make your family a better one than the one you grew up in.

ii. Families (both seniors and families), this is a time of trajectory for you as well. I have spent time with your men and women. Times of joy, anger, sorrow, and excitement. Here are a few ideas for our families after spending time with your kids.

1. We need to learn to let our grudges die. Probably the most heart rending thing to experience, as a teacher, is seeing a student being eaten alive by his or her emotions because their family is a mess. These messes vary but the trauma caused by families on themselves eats a family alive. We need to learn that WE are not the center of the universe. Our families will respect us more if we are willing to give up our pride.

2. Draw together. Plan times to hang out together and build or repair loving relationships within the family. Give up addictions to work, play, people, substances, television, or computer time to become your each other's best friend.

3. Parents! NEVER tell your child that he or she is unqualified to do what is in his or her heart. LISTEN to what they want to do and ask them questions to help them better understand what their dreams really are. Be a mentor and a guide not a fair-weather friend or dictator. This will require a life long commitment to learning about yourself and your child. Let them live their class motto to "be what they are!"

4. Students and Parents: PRAY, PRAY, PRAY, for and with each other. There is no better way to stay united than to make Love the center of your lives and families. If we learn nothing more in life let us remember to pray.

c. Never stop learning. If we researched the most successful people, companies, and countries in the world, we would find one thing in common among all of them. The unquenchable thirst for knowledge and experience. Part of this learning experience, I believe, is recognizing how valuable You are to this life and what you are capable of. You may think, "“Hey I'’m only one person what can I do?"” Perhaps the biggest lesson we can learn in life is how one person can change the world. Look at some people who died this year who single handedly changed the world.

i. Rosa Parks: unintentionally started a bus boycott in the southern US. Became an icon of the civil rights movement.

ii. Coretta King: A woman who endured hell on earth because of her family'’s cause for freedom from discrimination of all groups of people in the United States and around the world. Dr. King could not have done it alone. She was Vital to their mission and chosen trajectory.

iii. Just think. If one person can throw out an idea and a nation lands on the moon, a battle against injustice is fought, and thousands choose to walk to work rather than ride the bus, then what can the 2006 seniors of UCA accomplish? I really feel that there are "“NO LIMITS"”. Seniors you need to prepare yourselves for the possibility that sometimes big changes follow small events. Here is an example of what I am talking about.

iv. A piece of paper, when folded 50 times, will stretch to the sun. A small change goes a long way.

v. Dog in the snow. A 3 degree change in temperature and a dog's world is completely different. Dogs treat snow as the greatest gift on the planet. So what is our greatest gift?

d. Experience the Gift.

i. What we are is God's gift to us. What we become is our gift to God. Don't let fear get in your way.

ii. Pandemics and fear.

iii. Bird Flu

iv. AIDS

v. What about the Jesus bug?

1. There are people who do not think of God as being up there and humans being down here. These are people who live and breathe God and his love. Now many people get caught up in the nitty gritty details about God (and they are fun). But a person can become so enamored with the details of an infinite God that they fail to see what God is all about. But the principles of Jesus'’ life: Love, compassion, forgiveness, generosity, and justice ARE qualities we can wrap our heads around and calculate into our life'’s trajectory.

2. The smallest decisions you make do make a world of difference. One date with someone can change your lives for better or for worse (so only date intending to marry). One dumb decision can land you in jail for a lifetime (so think about your actions and motivations). One off-handed comment can destroy a relationship or family (so learn when to be spontaneous and when to think ahead). These are all parts of setting your trajectory.

3. Set your trajectory and when you fail, take a note from NASA, don't dwell in your shame. Romans 8 says that there is NOTHING that can separate us from God'’s love. Do you realize that? Do you know that? You and I can do NOTHING that will make God love us less. NOTHING. NOTHING. Nothing.

4. When it comes right down to it...

a. Heaven will be full of people God loves and Jesus died for.

b. Hell will be full of people God loves and Jesus died for.

c. We are loved by God NO MATTER WHAT! Love is God's grand plan so that "you... may be able to comprehend and know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge."” Ephesians 3. 16 -– 19. Unstoppable, "‘no limits", love is his trajectory. We can'’t change God's love for us.

i. The question is: "Is God in my trajectory? Do I want to love God in return?"”

5. A positive epidemic of love and service can be started by a handful of people. You can start a positive epidemic in the Christian church, this nation, and the world. All you have to do is make God your moon project and work towards that Big Hairy audacious goal. One in which the earth will experience Christians as they have never been experienced. Loving, compassionate, generous, and just people, who's main concerns are not about hairstyles, soy meat, and church programs, but who's passion is found in a living God. A God so huge that he can love all of us together and each of us alone. NO MATTER WHAT!

6. The career you choose, the money you make, and the awards you receive do not matter unless you have an attitude of service and love. God doesn'’t need another millionaire (unless they have love). God doesn't need another poor person (unless they have love). God doesn't call everyone to be a pastor (Thank-you God). God needs mail people, physicists, doctors, lawyers, mechanics, sales people, and hair dressers who are passionate about spreading an epidemic of grace and love. You have only one life (only one small moment).

7. Remember: one small moment can change lives. Make that moment a positive one and do it with enthusiasm. "When you come to the fork in the road, take it"”. Go for it! Don't let anyone or anything stop your trajectory to create a positive epidemic in your corner of the world.

So here we are at the end. There is only one last thing to do...your launch sequence countdown... 5! Plan, train, and arrange your life'’s priorities...4! Don'’t dwell on failure but persevere through hard times... 3!love each other and your families in service...2! Recognize the possibility that some of life'’s biggest changes start from the smallest decisions...1! May your life become a response to the truth that you'’ve always been loved, are loved, and always will be loved by an infinite Creator. And may you know that there is NOTHING you could ever do to make God love you any less. Nothing. And may you realized that you are in a relationship with the living God and that He has called you to a trajectory of starting a positive epidemic. May God bless you by hunting you down with love, justice, mercy, compassion, and success...0. Mission Control, we have lift off!
*************


Cheers, Greekspeedoman

Officially a Dog

It is official, Zoe turned 1 year old on May 16, 2006. Therefore, she no longer qualifies as a "puppy" and must now be called a "DOG". All of this in spite of the fact that she is much smaller than anticipated (6 lbs). Her father was 10 lbs and her mother 12 lbs. I guess you can never tell what may happen when there is procreation afoot.

We celebrated by giving her a couple of beef sticks. She celebrated by releasing toxic dog fumes and nearly killing us. Now she only gets a beef stick if we're leaving.

The birthday change in her life has not kept her from being curious though (as you can see).

AT LAST! Proof of Global Warming

Scientists just agreed in US congress how to interpret data collected from our earth. After they finally agreed HOW to read the data the determined how much our earth is warming up. They did all of this by voting (I am not making this up). I'm glad we can vote and make our earth warmer or cooler (it is like a road trip through the universe).

My history students often ask me about global warming because they know it will set me off and I gladly go off on how it is a bunch of garbage. Global warming is a way for environmental lobbyist to get money, a way to keep citizens in fear so we can be controlled by our governments, and how do we know it exists in the first place? There are far too few scientist making measurements around our globe and our instruments are not capable of it. Plus much much more.

Yet with all of this ranting and raving, I have managed to find proof of global warming [which makes me look like a buffoon--whimper]

Swimming suits in the 1920s













Swimming Suit in the 1950s















Swimming Suit in the 1990s




















Swimming Suit in 2000










Given the amount of research and data I have collected from this scientific study, I have decided that global warming must exist (or we have a fabric shortage). Given that this is the case, I predict that our globe will be 2.34840193 degrees warmer in 100 years (and we'll all swim "in the raw"). I can predict this because my student workers and I took a vote and decided that it was reality. REALLY, no one knows anyhow so why does it matter?

Super Ninja Monkey

Check out the super ninja monkey. I LOVE MONKEYS!

Draw A House.Com

Click here to view my house

Here is my house. Check it out it is a masterpiece of Kindergarden proportions! I got this from Cousin Ryan's Site which I have added under my Links.

The Mother Load

I have come across one of the most sensational literature sites in the world. It has thousands of full text books by tons of authors. I read one of my fav novels of all time here in full text (1984). It also has Edgar Allen Poe (one of my favs.). There is sure to be something for everyone...OH and it's free.

The Literature Network: Online Classic Literature

Mad TV Greece

I have added Mad TV Greece to my list of links. I love this site (of course it helps if you know some Greek) but their streaming videos are exactly what you see on TV in Greece (pretty low budget but fun). We spent WAY too much time watching this program. Essentially it is MTV for Greece (only better).

Change Me

A student told me about this website. It is thought provolking. Check it out.

http://changeme.gettyimages.com

The Mystery

So, Buford my printer is officially dead. The tech morticians took him away (and it took more than one). My students have been rejoicing because it has postponed such things as tests and quizzes. I have the craziest story though.
One morning last week, a printer mysteriously appeared on our front porch with an attached note indicating that the printer was a donation to the teacher's cause. It is incredible! What student does something like that. I am blown away by the whole thing. Yet, I didn't feel right giving a brutal quiz freshly printed off of the phantom printer the day it arrived on our front porch.
It is true that being a teacher can be a brutal job sometimes but occasionally there is a glimpse of what my students are capable of and what how they want to live their lives. I am fortunate. Anyhow, the new printer "Agent 006" is named after this year's senior class (even though Agent 006 died in one of the Bond films).
In related news, we have 4 weeks of school left... (perhaps it is not good for teachers to rejoice but I am looking forward to a bit of a break).

Kiss of Death

I was thinking about death and dying today. I don't especially know why. No one, I know, has died recently. This thought was spurred by my printer (his name is Buford). Buford, and I am not making this up, is a product of the late 1980s or early 1990s. He weighs 86.3 lbs (no joke) and takes a hand truck to move. With all of that mass you would think that the print quality would be sensational. However, I think a drunk spastic monkey with no actual "appendages" or "functioning" brain could produce better work in a much shorter period of time. Apparently he has decided he despises me and for two days has refused to produce anything unless it is a mangled page covered in black dusty toner which goes everywhere. Yes, I do spend too much time alone grading papers and Yes I do talk to my printer. You know that scene in Office Space where they kidnap the printer? IT'S ON SMALLS! THE SMACKDOWN COMETH!

A contributing factor was my lunch time (12 min. today but that is the nature of the job). I arrived home to find that Zoe (my Jedi in training) had unleashed all of her 6 lb. fury upon one of the house plants. I think it was a trying battle but eventually the houseplant caved and sacrificed its life for...well...nothing. I guess not all was a loss. I did laugh to see a huge shredded leaf stuck to Zoe's bearded face. She's the cutest little bearded thing.

Dick Cheney

Dick Cheney is coming to Spokane to say Hi to our personnel at the air force base. I think it is a nice gesture and I hope they return fire.

More Funny Student Comments

"I don't bite. I nipple."

"Some people are just repulsive"

"Conserve toilet paper, use both sides."

"Kinky and Religion don't really go together."

"Your insolence vexes me so that sometimes I fantasize that you would prove your mortality"

"That dress is so small. I'd find more cotton in an advil bottle."

And there are more to come I am sure...

My Favorite Student Blunders

My boyfriend is really a eunuch person.
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I want my boyfriend to propose to me in pubic. A pubic proposal is much more enjoyable than in private.
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I don't know if he will propose, but I am expecting.
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My relationship with my ax girlfriend was so painful.
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There were no many bears in flour mill forest plains without the giant runny stream of smallpox. Those poor Indians.
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What is circumcision?
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A Delighted Democrat

There is no more pleasure to my life than exercising my power as a citizen to make my president dance. What a wonderful feeling it is to get straight to the white house and have the president comply with my demands.

Make Bush Dance Here: http://www.dancingbush.com/

Potty Talk

Check out this little survey. You may learn something about yourself.

http://www.bathroomsurvey.com/

My Ancient Manuscript

Walla Walla College still has my website up. I don't know why since I've been out of college for several years. However, my Out of context quotes are still fun.

check it out at: http://people.wwc.edu/student/jankma/quotes_out_of_context.htm

I just found it again and it still makes me smile.