Naked and Famous

Many of my students graduate tomorrow. Another year of teaching done…another dull ache as I watch them leave. Many of these students I have taught for a few years. In fact, this year is the year when I broke the “over-1,000” student mark. I don’t really care one way or the other. I just hope they are better after being in my classroom. As I was thinking about their education in my classroom, I couldn’t help think of…THE NEWS.

I read a study which was done on teens and their involvement in national politics. The result of the study was that most of the news that teens are exposed to comes from “The Daily Show” and “Saturday Night Live”. Both are satirical news broadcasts that mix humor and facts. Thus, I became determined to bring news to my classroom.

Every day in my history classes, I start class by telling everyone what is going on in the news. We look at politics (quite a bit this year), economics, and other news worthy items. To mix things up, I include real news events that are completely insane little stories. It makes it fun for all of us and helps everyone realize that news occurs everyday. History is made everyday.

Every so often there is a news item that I dub “A Really Bad Day”. These stories are cherished by all.

From all of the crazy stories that have been out there this year, my absolute favorite is about a poor construction worker. FYI: I am NOT making this story up. It was in the news.

I don’t remember his name, or if it was even published, but let’s call him Ned.

Ned was driving a construction delivery van filled with lumber and other construction materials. There was also a healthy amount of wood on a rack on the top of the van. No one is sure what happened but at some point, Ned drove off of a highway in Pennsylvania going about 70 mph. At this point, it seems that Ned attempted to correct his vehicle but couldn’t before the front right corner of his van hit a large tree.

As far as the police could determine, the lumber and other supplies in the back of the van shifted forward violently and hit the back of Ned’s seat. Ned’s seat came out of the floor of the van and then shot, with Ned still in it, through the windshield. Simultaneously, the lumber on the top of the van shot forward violently and flew off of the top of the van. As it turned out, Ned flew through the windshield into the woods only to have a load of lumber land on him. That is a bad day. But it gets worse!

Ned was apparently unconscious for some time. When he came to, he wasn’t in his right mind. However, he did realize that he needed to assess his body for injury. In his altered state, it made sense to do this by getting naked. Naked Ned (now you know why I gave him the name Ned), found that he had a bone sticking out of his upper right thigh. What he didn’t know, is that he was naked in the middle of a patch of poison oak. No one had seen Ned’s accident and had come to help him so Ned decided to get help for himself. He made his way through the bushes (i.e. poison oak) and began hobbling down the highway to get help. Luckily, the police found Naked Ned on this highway and rushed him to the hospital. Ned had a few surgeries and was probably really ichy for several days. Luckily for him though, the police dropped the public nudity charges that they had filed against him.

Now that is a bad day.

After assessing that story, I’m not sure my students are better for being in my classroom but I hope they do realize that life could be much much worse. They could be sitting in traction. I think it is always good to start each day with a positive thought to carry with us as we go through the hours of the day (he he)

Until next time…gsm.