Oh Poop

I don't know if this is real or not but it is funny. Of course it is from the internet (95% of which is not reliable information). But it is funny. Enjoy this supposedly real sign from Canada.

You may need to click on it to see it large enough.

Until next time...gsm

No I don't live in my Parent's Basement

I live in my own basement. This made me smile. Pretty good beat too!

Naked and Famous

Many of my students graduate tomorrow. Another year of teaching done…another dull ache as I watch them leave. Many of these students I have taught for a few years. In fact, this year is the year when I broke the “over-1,000” student mark. I don’t really care one way or the other. I just hope they are better after being in my classroom. As I was thinking about their education in my classroom, I couldn’t help think of…THE NEWS.

I read a study which was done on teens and their involvement in national politics. The result of the study was that most of the news that teens are exposed to comes from “The Daily Show” and “Saturday Night Live”. Both are satirical news broadcasts that mix humor and facts. Thus, I became determined to bring news to my classroom.

Every day in my history classes, I start class by telling everyone what is going on in the news. We look at politics (quite a bit this year), economics, and other news worthy items. To mix things up, I include real news events that are completely insane little stories. It makes it fun for all of us and helps everyone realize that news occurs everyday. History is made everyday.

Every so often there is a news item that I dub “A Really Bad Day”. These stories are cherished by all.

From all of the crazy stories that have been out there this year, my absolute favorite is about a poor construction worker. FYI: I am NOT making this story up. It was in the news.

I don’t remember his name, or if it was even published, but let’s call him Ned.

Ned was driving a construction delivery van filled with lumber and other construction materials. There was also a healthy amount of wood on a rack on the top of the van. No one is sure what happened but at some point, Ned drove off of a highway in Pennsylvania going about 70 mph. At this point, it seems that Ned attempted to correct his vehicle but couldn’t before the front right corner of his van hit a large tree.

As far as the police could determine, the lumber and other supplies in the back of the van shifted forward violently and hit the back of Ned’s seat. Ned’s seat came out of the floor of the van and then shot, with Ned still in it, through the windshield. Simultaneously, the lumber on the top of the van shot forward violently and flew off of the top of the van. As it turned out, Ned flew through the windshield into the woods only to have a load of lumber land on him. That is a bad day. But it gets worse!

Ned was apparently unconscious for some time. When he came to, he wasn’t in his right mind. However, he did realize that he needed to assess his body for injury. In his altered state, it made sense to do this by getting naked. Naked Ned (now you know why I gave him the name Ned), found that he had a bone sticking out of his upper right thigh. What he didn’t know, is that he was naked in the middle of a patch of poison oak. No one had seen Ned’s accident and had come to help him so Ned decided to get help for himself. He made his way through the bushes (i.e. poison oak) and began hobbling down the highway to get help. Luckily, the police found Naked Ned on this highway and rushed him to the hospital. Ned had a few surgeries and was probably really ichy for several days. Luckily for him though, the police dropped the public nudity charges that they had filed against him.

Now that is a bad day.

After assessing that story, I’m not sure my students are better for being in my classroom but I hope they do realize that life could be much much worse. They could be sitting in traction. I think it is always good to start each day with a positive thought to carry with us as we go through the hours of the day (he he)

Until next time…gsm.

What a person grows up on is always cool

There are many things in life that I will always love: Metal lunch boxes, Night Rider, the word "rad", The original Sony Walkman for cassette tapes, The original Mazda RX-7, the Lamborghini countach, Star Wars (the originals), a time when you had to get the chicken pox to be immune to them, and all of U2's albums up to the Joshua Tree album...and the Muppets.

I used to sit in a little kiddie rocking chair in front of the TV to watch the muppets in the first few years of the 1980s. I would become so taken with the show that I would confuse my snacks with my drink and reach into my cup of milk for some tasty treat. I have always loved the muppets and probably always will. That is why, I am so excited about a recent joint project put together by the Muppets and Weezer.

Check it out!



Oh man...I just stuck my hand into my tea and tried to drink some trail mix.

Until next time...gsm

Be A Hero and Help

Here's some awesome news. My dad is riding his bicycle across the United States this summer to raise money for the American Lung Association.

The American Lung Association sponsors anti-smoking campaigns and treatment, air quality assessments, and family advice. American Lung is designed to help prevent lung cancer. My dad is riding in honor of several friends and family members who have died of cancer.

To qualify for this ride, my dad needs to raise $3,000 (at a minimum) for American Lung.

You can read more about his ride and donate by visiting his website http://darrellsbigride2008.wordpress.com/

All donations are tax deductible for the 2008-2009 tax year.

So be a hero and help the American Lung Association and sponsor my dad's big ride across the United States -and if you visit his website, you can see some rippin' photos I shot and edited.


later, greekspeedoman

The perks of being a teacher...

One of the perks of being a teacher isn't' a company car (who would want to drive a yellow bus everywhere), isn't an amazing retirement plan, isn't an incredible wage, and isn't having to resolve conflict with students and parents. Often it comes in little ways. Student papers are a source of great wisdom at times and other times perfect for illustrating the pitfalls of spell and grammar check. These papers also demonstrate student understanding -or misunderstanding.

I was recently reminded of these when a colleague emailed several of his student blunders to me and some that are not his. Here is a segment of what he sent to me...

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George Washington married Matha Curtis and in due time became the Father of Our Country. Them the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the Constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.

Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. When Lincoln was President, he wore only a tall silk hat. He said, "In onion there is strength."

Abraham Lincoln write the Gettysburg address while traveling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope. He also signed the Emasculation Proclamation, and the Fourteenth Amendment gave the ex-Negroes citizenship. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposedl insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.

***************

Those weren't from his classroom but they are entertaining. The example, below, is from my classroom 3 years ago.

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Public meetings were important in the American revolution. The angry merchants would meet in public where everyone could listen and watch their debates. Sometimes these public meetings took place on the front steps of important buildings. Both public and private gatherings inflamed the people against the British. The British tried to stop these public meetings because it was embarrassing to the king but this encouraged the colonists to meet publicly more often and in larger groups. Eventually this lead to war. We won the war and one of the reasons was the meetings –both private and public- which allowed people to express their ideas.

****************

Now there is nothing amazing about that paragraph (other than the historical inaccuracies). What was supremely entertaining about it, though, was the spelling. I have edited the above paragraph but the original student version didn't use the word "public". This student left the "L" out of "public". Now, reread the paragraph with your newfound understanding.

Funny, no? I see these little simple things as perks for a teacher. I may not get paid much or get to drive a big yellow bus to work but my life will be longer because of the laughter I occasionally get when I read student papers. I am also encouraged by the majority of papers I see that are quality work. It gives me hope for the future of our nation and educational systems. When these papers cross my desk it is usually a great time to talk about how we communicate and how to use technology to our advantage and not our embarrassment.

I have other student blunders posted on this blog on “December 19, 2006” “April 1, 2006”, & “April 13, 2006”.

Dreams vs. Reality

Last summer I dreamed that I was a fighter pilot in WWII (too much reading for this history teacher). Then I awoke, in the lovely wheat -poison, for me- fields to hear a low flying prop plane flying overhead. I awoke with a start and started looking for a gun. Then I realized I was at home and the plane (50 ft above the house) does that from time to time because it is a crop duster.

As a teacher, I see thousands of people. I have taught thousands and contracted thousands of diseases (which is why I rarely get sick). It is interesting to see those things people aspire to but never quite get. It may be the Special Ed student who works their tail end off and only gets D's or the staff member who wants a new car but it just never seems to happen (especially on a teacher's wage). Yet, these people still aspire to attaining these things. Some call this perseverance, gumption, or stamina. It demands our attention and respect but there seems to be a point when our dreams are so incongruous with reality that we must give them up or play the fool for the remainder of our lives.

The high school football player who (at the age of 55) still lives in those days of glory.

The successful parent who thinks their kid is the smartest on the planet when they have severe disabilities that must be dealt with. Yet, the parent never gives up fighting what they know to be truth -their student is severely challenged.

With presidential candidates making promises and sweeping statements, I find it curious that some will drop out and seemingly give up within 24 hours. Then during the "decompression" which occurs afterwards, they support a former opponent. It is shockingly pragmatic. People admitting that they don't have a hope to become president (even if they may be the best candidate).

How would we be different if, individually, we were willing to admit fault or error so easily (or even recognize reality for what it is)? Would we give up on our dreams? Probably. But wouldn't that allow us to move on to other dreams that are more likely to occur? I think so -as long as we don't wallow in the failures of the past.

Are our dreams making us unhappy with our current lives? Then maybe it is time to store those dreams for another time or just drop them and enjoy life right now.

I don't know what has inspired my thoughts recently but I am assessing my plans for the future and wondering how many of my dreams are fantasy and how many reality. Let's face it, life NEVER goes the way we expect it to.

--until next time, gsm

Evidence that Dancing doesn't always lead to sex