Failure

Some friends of ours had their first child today. He is a beautiful little guy and the parents are fascinated by him. We waited for months and hours through the labor process and out comes this little healthy chap. It is amazing to think about the potential that can be found within a small child. This is why parenting is so vital for the success of society. As a teacher, I can literally point to the students in my classroom who have had conscientious parents, no parents, or too restrictive parents. The problem is knowing how much responsibility to give a child while remaining a relevant guiding force in that child's life. Most important is allowing our children to fail in a safe environment.

I often learn more about people when they fail than when they are successful. The student who threatens to call his/her parents when they receive an undesirable grade (even though they won't take responsibility for it AND I am not intimidated by any parent). Or blaming your hurtful racial comments on society rather than taking credit for them yourself. We have a choice when we fail: "Cringe in embarrassment, or wear failure as a noble scar" (Forbes 2007).

I think of Dante Alighieri who started out being betrayed, exiled, defaced, and financially ruined when his house was burned. Yet, years later he finished his hellish work "Inferno". Despite all of his failures, he is remembered for his literary contribution and for creatively putting his rivals into his book and, in his book, into hell. What about Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni? He was badgered by a cardinal in the catholic church for years and when his last work in the Sistine Chapel was revealed, that cardinal was in his painting shown being pulled into hell by demons.

F. Scott Fitzgerald is an American icon for 20th century literature. Yet, I dare say that he didn't think of success when he died at the age of 44, penniless, an alcoholic, and with all of his books out of print (at the time).

It is a matter of perspective. Dante begins his book with "Midway on our life's journey, I found myself in dark woods, the right road lost...." There is a long scary journey through the nine circles of hell but eventually Dante comes out alright at the end of his book. I hope that life for our little ones can be the same.

Taking the Challenge: Irony

In my previous post, I ripped on Alanis Morrisette's 1990's radio hit "Isn't It Ironic". dr spartacus requested that I rewrite the lyrics of her song (most of which I argued were not ironic) so that they actually were ironic. Here is dr spartacus's request:

"Request:
I would like the Greek Speedoman to re-write the words of this classic '90's hit so that the situations of each line remains basically the same (knives vs. spoons, etc.), but are actually ironic."

SO, I thought I would take the challenge. As stated in my previous blog, I believe one of her statements is actually ironic (a man afraid of flying who dies his first time on a plane).

The original lyric will be featured in Blue and my comments/additions will be in green. I have made no attempt at keeping the rhythm and pace of the song the same. I am simply concerned with attempting to make these statements ACTUALLY ironic.

1. An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day when he realized how much money he had won.

2. It's a black fly in your Chardonnay that you're drinking to celebrate killing off a plague of flies.

3.It's a death row pardon two minutes too late for someone who is guilty.

4. It's like rain on your wedding day and you're the wicked witch in the wizard of Oz.

5. It's a free ride when you've already paid but the free ride is from a serial killer.

6. Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."
(I agree with this one. However, what would make it more ironic is if the man didn't know that he was in fact...Superman.)

7. A traffic jam when you're already late for a meeting about the efficiency of a city's road systems.

8. A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break and you're the Marlboro man.

9. It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife to open the packaging of your new knife.

10. It's meeting the man of my dreams -who is not attracted to you-
And then meeting his beautiful wife -who is attracted to you-

So there is my attempt at creating ACTUAL irony. This was a fun assignment. Let me know how I did.

Here are a few more lines that are not/somewhat ironic but are funny.

3.It's a death row pardon two minutes too late because of daylight savings time.
3.It's a death row pardon two minutes too late because the messenger was murdered.
4. It's like rain on your wedding day and you're a weather man.
1. An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day when he was defending himself from his greedy children.
1. An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day leaving his fortune to Anna Nichole Smith.
5. It's a free ride when you've already paid for a ride on the Titanic.
5. It's a free ride when you've already paid for a ride in Paris Hilton's car.
It's the good advice you just didn't take because you're Dr. Phil.

Isn't it Ironic - Polling the People

Recently, I overheard a 1990's classic song from the "man-hater" Alanis Morrisette. It is entitled "Isn't it Ironic". I overheard the lyrics and was curious what the average person would think about them. Basically, my main objective was to determine whether or not Alanis had written a song on the topic of Irony.

My Testing Method:

Since I am a teacher, testing comes naturally to me and so I determined to do this in the most objective way. I asked 10 different people about each line (without telling them that it is from a 1990s radio hit-although some knew it was), which I chose, from "Isn't It Ironic". Then I collected their statements for my reader's personal enlightenment. Many of the responses are the same so I will only list the unique responses to a line of lyric. The lyric is in a blue font and my test subject's responses are in an orange font.

1. An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day

• "I'll be his grandchild"
• "Later Pops and thanks for the cash"
• "That Sucks"
  

2. It's a black fly in your Chardonnay

• "A fly might help chardonnay...I hate chardonnay"
• "Gross"
• Most people simply laughed at this one as if mocking the unfortunate soul.
  

3.It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
And isn't it ironic...don't cha think

• "That Sucks"
• "How Sad...think of his mother..."

4. It's like rain on your wedding day

• "Oh, how awful"
• "I had rain on my wedding day"
• "aaaahaaaa"
• "That would suck"
  

5. It's a free ride when you've already paid

• "oh crap"
• "That sucks"
• "I'd just ask for my money back...what's wrong with that?"
  

6. Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic...dontcha think

• "At least he kissed his kids goodbye."
• "I'd like to die really fast like that."
• "Was this guy at terrorist?"
• "That Sucks."
  

7. A traffic jam when you're already late

• "I hate that."
• "What is with that? There is always some little old woman in a piece of crap car in front of me!"
• "Murphy's law gets me all of the time"
• "That just pisses me right off."
• "It makes me want to kill someone" (I backed slowly away from this person after their response)
  
• "That really sucks."
  

8. A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break

• "Aren't smokers like cursed or something?"
• "I don't know. I don't get cigarette breaks because I don't smoke."
• "Burn the sign too!"
• "Smokers are so gross I'm glad you can't smoke much anymore."
• "Just shoot yourself. It's faster and we don't have to listen to you."

9. It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife

• "Sharpen the spoon."
• "Who has 10,000 spoons? are they Heroine addicts?"
• "Use the handle. That way you have both 10,000 spoons and 10,000 knives"
  

10. It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...dontcha think
A little too ironic...and yeah I really do think...

• "That sucks. Why are they always married?"
• "I really wouldn't know. My wife probably wouldn't approve."
• "That happened to me. He was really cute too. That really sucks."
• "That sucks"

So, there you have it. I was surprised to find how many people thought that those things just suck. Not a single person told me that they thought they were ironic. Perhaps my test subjects have no literary background or, like me, think that this song is simply stupid. I tend to agree with the general outcome of my study. None of Alanis Morrisette's "ironic" statements seem to be ironic (except for the guy who dies in the plan crash). I must agree that most of those things simply...SUCK.

I an now confidently state that I think that the lyrics of "Isn't It Ironic" suck. I also don't care much for the music behind the lyrics and think it sucks too! So, in my critical objective opinion, "Isn't It Ironic" simply SUCKS.

Of course, what IS ironic about this song is that it is supposed to be about irony but fails to describe it.