Super Ninja Monkey

Check out the super ninja monkey. I LOVE MONKEYS!

Draw A House.Com

Click here to view my house

Here is my house. Check it out it is a masterpiece of Kindergarden proportions! I got this from Cousin Ryan's Site which I have added under my Links.

The Mother Load

I have come across one of the most sensational literature sites in the world. It has thousands of full text books by tons of authors. I read one of my fav novels of all time here in full text (1984). It also has Edgar Allen Poe (one of my favs.). There is sure to be something for everyone...OH and it's free.

The Literature Network: Online Classic Literature

Mad TV Greece

I have added Mad TV Greece to my list of links. I love this site (of course it helps if you know some Greek) but their streaming videos are exactly what you see on TV in Greece (pretty low budget but fun). We spent WAY too much time watching this program. Essentially it is MTV for Greece (only better).

Change Me

A student told me about this website. It is thought provolking. Check it out.

http://changeme.gettyimages.com

The Mystery

So, Buford my printer is officially dead. The tech morticians took him away (and it took more than one). My students have been rejoicing because it has postponed such things as tests and quizzes. I have the craziest story though.
One morning last week, a printer mysteriously appeared on our front porch with an attached note indicating that the printer was a donation to the teacher's cause. It is incredible! What student does something like that. I am blown away by the whole thing. Yet, I didn't feel right giving a brutal quiz freshly printed off of the phantom printer the day it arrived on our front porch.
It is true that being a teacher can be a brutal job sometimes but occasionally there is a glimpse of what my students are capable of and what how they want to live their lives. I am fortunate. Anyhow, the new printer "Agent 006" is named after this year's senior class (even though Agent 006 died in one of the Bond films).
In related news, we have 4 weeks of school left... (perhaps it is not good for teachers to rejoice but I am looking forward to a bit of a break).

Kiss of Death

I was thinking about death and dying today. I don't especially know why. No one, I know, has died recently. This thought was spurred by my printer (his name is Buford). Buford, and I am not making this up, is a product of the late 1980s or early 1990s. He weighs 86.3 lbs (no joke) and takes a hand truck to move. With all of that mass you would think that the print quality would be sensational. However, I think a drunk spastic monkey with no actual "appendages" or "functioning" brain could produce better work in a much shorter period of time. Apparently he has decided he despises me and for two days has refused to produce anything unless it is a mangled page covered in black dusty toner which goes everywhere. Yes, I do spend too much time alone grading papers and Yes I do talk to my printer. You know that scene in Office Space where they kidnap the printer? IT'S ON SMALLS! THE SMACKDOWN COMETH!

A contributing factor was my lunch time (12 min. today but that is the nature of the job). I arrived home to find that Zoe (my Jedi in training) had unleashed all of her 6 lb. fury upon one of the house plants. I think it was a trying battle but eventually the houseplant caved and sacrificed its life for...well...nothing. I guess not all was a loss. I did laugh to see a huge shredded leaf stuck to Zoe's bearded face. She's the cutest little bearded thing.

Dick Cheney

Dick Cheney is coming to Spokane to say Hi to our personnel at the air force base. I think it is a nice gesture and I hope they return fire.

More Funny Student Comments

"I don't bite. I nipple."

"Some people are just repulsive"

"Conserve toilet paper, use both sides."

"Kinky and Religion don't really go together."

"Your insolence vexes me so that sometimes I fantasize that you would prove your mortality"

"That dress is so small. I'd find more cotton in an advil bottle."

And there are more to come I am sure...

My Favorite Student Blunders

My boyfriend is really a eunuch person.
******
I want my boyfriend to propose to me in pubic. A pubic proposal is much more enjoyable than in private.
******
I don't know if he will propose, but I am expecting.
******
My relationship with my ax girlfriend was so painful.
******
There were no many bears in flour mill forest plains without the giant runny stream of smallpox. Those poor Indians.
******
What is circumcision?
******

A Delighted Democrat

There is no more pleasure to my life than exercising my power as a citizen to make my president dance. What a wonderful feeling it is to get straight to the white house and have the president comply with my demands.

Make Bush Dance Here: http://www.dancingbush.com/

Potty Talk

Check out this little survey. You may learn something about yourself.

http://www.bathroomsurvey.com/

My Ancient Manuscript

Walla Walla College still has my website up. I don't know why since I've been out of college for several years. However, my Out of context quotes are still fun.

check it out at: http://people.wwc.edu/student/jankma/quotes_out_of_context.htm

I just found it again and it still makes me smile.