Mullet Mania Baby!

Business up front. Party in Back!
To say that the mullet is a hairstyle barely even scratches the surface of the issue. The mullet is a way of life, it is a state of mind, it is every person who wears it. Physically it is characterized by short hair on the top, front, and sides of the head, followed by a long drape of hair on the back, reaching at least to the middle of the spine. Typical accessories to the mullet include moustaches, scraggly beards and/or goatees, and sunglasses. Research on the mullet phenomena, at this stage, is still in its infancy. However it is suggested by many top laboratories that the mullet, as it slowly reaches maturity, begins to grow tentacles into the brain of the victim. which affect several areas of the brain and fundamentally alter the candidate's actions and behavioral responses. Said behavioral changes mainly include extreme aggression, lack of hygiene, dramatic reduction in inhibitions (often bolstered by the consumption of alcohol), sense of paranoia and distrust towards authority/governmental figures, and most importantly - steadily decreasing IQ levels. I would stress that these are only preliminary details however, and the controversial nature of the theory renders it unsuitable for mass publication. - as defined by Rate My Mullet.

Scientists have received 2 million Euros for research into the effect of the Mullet on Laboratory mice. Further Reports to follow.

The Wrestler

Hey look! I'm a Wrestling Champion! Sweet. Wrap me in spanex and let me loose. I'm a fury of teeth, nails, and pure unrefined rage.

Check out my record at: http://www.wrestlinghalloffame.org/champions/?names&wrestler=2306

Zoe Wars

The force is strong with this one (especially after she eats peanut butter). I, Darth Vader, have a new padawan. The Empire will return under her powers more dark than any sith lord has ever achieved. More tenacious, more violent, more abrupt barking, and yes more chewing than any previous Jedi. Nothing can stop her concentration (unless it is food).

In the bowels of a Schnauzer was born a true fighter of epic, 6 pound, proportions. She is the cutest female with a beard and is capable of jumping 4 times her height (without using the force).

My padawan Zoe and I, Darth Vader, will strike when you least expect. We will torment the universe by doing the most mundane of all tasks. Skywalker will not stand forever!

Stay tuned for the next episode of ZOE WARS. Coming soon to a kennel near you.

Jack v. Jack In The Box.

After watching this week's episode of 24 there are approximately 2.3 characters left on the show. Most of them have been killed by nerve gas. The suspense is so intense that I can smell it like incense in my underpence.

I have determined that there is only one thing that can save this show now...Chuck Norris.

Not Even Jack Bauer can touch the round-house kicking 66 year old acting genious of the Chuck.

Although Jack is prettier.

I don't know. 24 is getting too depressing to watch. They keep killing all of the characters and the terrorists are really pathetic. I mean, really, are they going to wait 60 min. in their plan just so we can watch Jack Bauer try to save the day, lose his daughter, and watch the rest of the cast die.

What the writers of 24 won't tell us is that Jack Bauer has the ability to save other people's lives and to restore their life but he won't do it because he's afraid of...CHUCK NORRIS.

OK I find Chuck Norris as entertaining as an empty tube of toothpaste but 24 is starting to irk me. Let's move on with the show people and drop the soap opera which killed the O.C. (or was it a round-house kick from Chuck Norris that killed the O.C.?). Honestly, I'd rather watch Jack Bauer duke it out with the Jack In The Box guy. Imagine the possibilities...we would be rid of an obnoxious fast food icon and Jack Bauer could regain his image ("the tough guy") by beating up a pimply teenager in a comical head.

Peace, Love, and other fuzzy emotional words!